Here's to new beginnings!
November and December are two of the most popular to propose for a reason. A combination of constant coziness, family celebrations, and all of the festive decor has a way of making people truly appreciate the beauty of their relationships—and it can serve as the perfect backdrop for moments like proposals that both crystalize relationships and open up new frontiers.
At the same time, these factors can also end up applying friction to a relationship. Proposals—and by extension, marriage—are big commitments. Regardless if it's your first time or your fifth, the size of these commitments can be scary. No matter how excited you are to formalize your relationship with your loved one, the sheer weight of expectation that comes from dealing with wedding planners and sorting out your guest list can loom over your relationship like a storm cloud, ready to rain at any time.
That's why it's important to remember one big important thing:
Marriage isn't the end of a relationship.
It can be easy to think of marriage as nothing more than a series of obligations. Go on a couple of dates, propose, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. If you view it entirely through the lens of being a to-do list, then your relationship can seem more like a chore than anything else. Once you view it like that, then it's also easy to start seeing marriage as the exhausting endgame for these relationships, the point in which everything becomes permanent and the wiggle room closes off.
That's not the case.
In a sense, marriage is the end of one part of a relationship. In roughly the same way that going into a cocoon represents the end of a butterfly's life as a caterpillar.
Yes, crossing this threshold is scary. In fact, it would be weird if it wasn't. No matter how close you are to someone, no matter how comfortably your lives have been able to coexist, formalizing your relationship with marriage is going to seem imposing. Not only are you navigating the weight of all the expectations placed on you by family, friends, and our collective mental image of what a "good" relationship looks like, but getting married also makes you uniquely accountable to your partner in ways that might not have existed prior.
It's worth remembering accountability—and honestly? That sense of expectation is awesome. There's a very real degree to which being accountable, being intertwined with another person like that equips you to build a life with them that wouldn't be possible otherwise. Regardless of the exact ways in which you show love and affection in your relationship, the decision to formalize it by getting married shows you plan on making it a lifelong journey and you value this person's input and presence in your world. So much so, you want to make it a full-time part of the compass you use to navigate life.
That sounds pretty awesome to us.
Wherever you are in your relationship—whether you're happily married, eyeing the possibility, or still looking for that special someone—it's worth taking a second to appreciate that as the days get shorter and the evenings get cozier. Whether you're around family, friends, or just your coworkers this holiday season, take a second to appreciate all of the unique ways in which married people carry their relationships with them: the inside jokes, fond moments, and overall respect they've built on the feeling of hearth and home that comes from knowing there's someone waiting for them at the end of the day.
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November 10, 2021 at 04:23PM
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Reminder: Marriage Isn't the End of a Relationship - Our Community Now at Maryland
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