Conflict is inevitable in close relationships. It's not realistic to believe you will never face differences with another person. However, the way couples solve conflicts together is varied.
In the ideal, couples are able to trust their partner enough to hear them out and be curious about their position. When partners can do this, they are able to resolve their issue through simply understanding the other person's point of view or through moving toward a compromise together. However, creating this type of conflict style is often a process―described in detail in my book I Want This To Work―that couples need to learn as they move through their relationship, hopefully sooner rather than later.
In the interim, many couples enter into conflict patterns that create feelings of frustration and distance. When they are able to identify the pattern and work toward changing it, their relationship can develop a sense of ease and closeness. However, if they can't work through the patterns, they tend to escalate and therefore deteriorate the relationship.
Clinical psychologist and couples' therapist Sue Johnson, Ed.D., has described these conflict patterns as the "Demon Dialogues": a scary-sounding name for very common issues. The good news? Once you recognize the conflict pattern you're stuck in, you can begin to learn the skills needed to change it.
Here are the three conflict patterns to look out for:
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November 22, 2021 at 07:35PM
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3 Conflict Patterns That Can Wreck Relationships, From A Couples' Therapist - mindbodygreen.com
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