If you're in the heat of the conflict, the best way to de-escalate is to temporarily separate and allow the cortisol and other stress chemicals flooding your system—and triggering fight/flight—to gradually decrease so you're able to have some perspective and think more clearly.
However, sometimes, when one person takes a timeout, the other person feels abandoned. To de-escalate relationship conflict, try to truly become a team player with your partner. Get clear on the fact that you're in this together, neither of you is perfect, and you're both going to get reactive sometimes.
Be clear on what works best for you when you become reactive, as well as what feeds into your reactivity. Talk about things you can do that de-escalate the conflict without triggering each other.
For example, before just walking away, your partner might need you to say I'm taking a timeout, but I'll be back in 10 minutes. I just want to get my head clear.
—Alicia Muñoz, LPC, couples' therapist
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February 06, 2021 at 06:12PM
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The 6 Best Tips For De-escalating Conflict We've Gotten From Relationship Experts - mindbodygreen.com
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