A wife has slammed her husband online for his relationship with his "work wife" which she says the latter's partner is not happy about either.
Writing on Reddit's popular r/TrueOffMyChest forum, user u/Wild-Gas8551 explained the dilemma which has received thousands of upvotes and comments.
The 25-year-old wrote: "I'm married to an engineer. He is very intelligent and I'm always proud of him. He has a colleague who is also very intelligent, obviously, that he is close to."
She explained that she had never previously had a reason to be uncomfortable about their relationship and had always felt secure. But things changed when the couple went on a trip with the husband's work colleagues.
"We came home yesterday morning. I had a bad taste in my mouth after this trip. It felt like me and the colleague's partner were the third (and fourth) wheel to my husband and his colleague during the entire trip," she said.
Associate clinical professor in the Department of Counseling and Family Therapy at Drexel University Christian Jordal told Newsweek: "Partners often have a bird's eye view of their respective jobs. We hear about it, but we can't fully understand the workplace dynamics, politics and stress. Work colleagues understand the workplace system, players, and dynamics more than partners because they are in it."
As a result of this mutual understanding, people will often build relationships with work colleagues that may become more than simply friendships.
"If a partner is concerned about this, they should talk about it, but more importantly think about how they do so. No one likes to be confronted. Partners should be proactive and discuss how their relationship is going, what is working, and what isn't," said Jordal.
During the trip, the other couple even got into a heated argument about it. After returning from the trip, the Redditor received a message from the other partner.
"The partner DMed me and wanted to talk about our significant others. He said that he has been feeling uncomfortable about his girlfriend's relationship with my husband and that he went through her messages," she explained. "He sent me screens where my husband and his colleague are basically calling me stupid and shallow."
"I started crying when I saw the screenshots," she said. "Never have I ever felt so self-conscious."
Online, thousands of commenters shared their thoughts and advice for the distraught woman.
"It doesn't even matter if he's cheating, the man has absolutely zero respect for you and you should leave," said one Redditor. "You can 100 percent do better."
Another Redditor said: "Damn OP [original poster] your husband does not deserve you at all."
After receiving advice from internet users around the world, the woman shared a later update on her relationship and said: "I asked him to move out and he is currently at his mother's. He keeps saying that there's nothing between them, that he loves me and would never cheat on me, that he will quit his job and never see her again. I'm just so brokenhearted right now and all I want is to cry. thank you for listening."
Jordal believes that it is possible for couples to come back from these types of struggles if they both want to.
"Incidents of emotional and/or physical infidelity can be attributed to issues between partners that are unexpressed, and these issues can be myriad: attraction, sex, changing values, and identity issues, among others. It's normal for a partner to feel very vulnerable upon learning about an incident of emotional or physical infidelity," he explained.
"Partners should seek a trained couples' therapist to discuss what happened and assess if there are enough things they respectively value in their relationship, to stay in it."
Newsweek has reached out to u/Wild-Gas8551 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.
Has an infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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