There is one major cause of the insecurity that causes possessiveness: self-abandonment. By self-abandonment, I mean not taking responsibility for your own feelings of safety and self-worth and instead making your partner responsible for making you feel secure, loved, and lovable.
No matter how much your partner tries to make you feel safe, such as spending more time with you or restricting their contact with whoever threatens you, you will still feel insecure if you are abandoning yourself by judging yourself, ignoring your feelings, or making your partner responsible for your self-worth. You will always feel insecure, inadequate, and not good enough, and you will always feel threatened by others when you are rejecting and abandoning yourself.
Inner security is the result of one thing: learning to see, value, and love who you are in your soul essence.
We each come into life with a beautiful soul—a spark of the divine with our own wonderful qualities and gifts. When we fall in love with each other, we fall in love with each other's true soul self. But not long into a relationship, if you have been abandoning yourself, fears of loss of yourself or loss of your partner get triggered, and the programmed ego-wounded self takes over with your false beliefs about you not being good enough—not smart enough, not attractive enough, not successful enough, not interesting enough, not funny enough, and so on. That's when you might become threatened about your partner spending time with others.
Sometimes that possessiveness is further enabled by the other person. If you are with a possessive partner, are you enabling your partner to continue to abandon themselves, along with trying to control you? If you are taking responsibility for your partner's feelings or giving yourself up, you are enabling your partner in continuing to be possessive.
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December 28, 2021 at 06:10PM
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This Is What Actually Causes Possessiveness In Relationships - mindbodygreen.com
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